i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
