And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
