Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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