And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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