All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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