Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Two words: blizzard sex
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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