can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
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