I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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