What did we do last night that was yellow?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
