i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize