The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
