You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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