Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
