so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Everything about him screamed your future.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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