I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
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