whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
As shirtless as possible
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
