While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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