quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
