We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
