idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Randomize
