Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
