Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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