I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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