i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
