hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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