Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
