goodnight i made you a song goodbye
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
