I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Randomize
