finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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