Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
