almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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