She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
she pinky promised me she was 18
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
