You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
