where am i from again
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
