just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
