3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
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