i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
