I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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