She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
