Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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