So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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