grandma shit on top of the toilet
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
