I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Randomize
