At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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