Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
