So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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