I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize