you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
