i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
