Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
