How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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