oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
We left an ass print on the piano.
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But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
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We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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