I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Randomize