dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
