just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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