the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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