Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
