i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
