dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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