I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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