so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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